Distractions in La La Land

There’s only a limited amount of wedding planning that can hold my attention. It’s actually kind of boring, ya dig?

The complexities of what happens between 2 people after they are married, however, are far more engaging to me. Many years ago, I heard the late Kurt Vonnegut speak in Rochester, NY, where I had been living. He had such an interesting presence … wild eyes, mass of curly wild gray hair, awkward lumbering posture. About the subject of divorce, he had a long story … ending with something that rang true for me at the time. He put forth that it is a way of saying to the other person that “you’re not enough people.”

Now that I am taking the plunge, my mind fills with questions, such as:

  • Why do people get married anyway?
  • How can 2 people continually find each other interesting after many years?
  • What do you get compared to what you give up?
  • Is it worth all the work?

If you are married and have any answers, I’d love to hear them, either on- or off-line.

Meanwhile, The Bad Plus are doing a week of gigs at NYC’s Village Vanguard at the end of September. Now that’s what I call interesting. Want to meet up?

Young’s Road, Southold, NY. Digital photograph by MC.

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3 Responses to “Distractions in La La Land”


  1. 1 Stephanie September 11, 2008 at 1:46 am

    I have all the answers but you will have to meet up with me to find them out! Email me! 🙂

  2. 2 chloe September 11, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    I am married but these answers may only be valid for me, but here goes:
    -because the world is too big, too great and you need to share it with somebody else. That’s why people live together. The wedding is a -nice- practicality (again for me).
    -They can’t, not always. Sometimes the other person is boring you and you need to find other things to do. But then, they get interesting again and so on so forth. Also, people change all the time and this otherness is interesting.
    -You give up the freedom to make decisions on your own about many things. You get double the joy of new experiences. You get to dream about the future and actually plan it with the person you love. You get to divide the pain. You get someone to take it out on (from time to time).
    -Some kind of work is involved in everything. Even in living alone. So, yes, it’s worth the work if you manage to be happy and peaceful for 75 – 80 % of the time (my estimation, other people need less/more).

    I found you through Maddie’s blog!

  3. 3 Tina September 19, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    Andrei and I just celebrated our 13 th wedding anniversary and I have to say I am more in love with him now then the day we were married.

    We were married young (21) and I honestly can’t imagine my life without him. Yes he gets on my nerves from time to time and I know I can drive him crazy but at the end of the day everything works itself out.

    Some people don’t beleive in soul mates but I do and I know without a doubt Andrei is my soul mate.


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